


The "I" Word

by cymyguy



Series: Volleygirls prompts [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Lesbians, Major Illness, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 14:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20472665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cymyguy/pseuds/cymyguy
Summary: It’s a Saturday morning, late enough to feel rested, but early enough that they can take things easy. Tobio’s just woken up to their alarm, and quiet in their little three-bedroom house. They left the window open all night, and their room smells cool and clean. Their ten-year-old has a volleyball game today. Tobio stretches her arms over her head, groaning, then reaches, her fingers brushing against the soft cotton of her wife’s t-shirt. They’re going on 15 years. Haven’t turned 40 yet. It’s a nice time of the year.A Saturday, at least, could be perfect. But it's not.





	The "I" Word

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: hair

It’s a Saturday morning, late enough to feel rested, but early enough that they can take things easy. Tobio’s just woken up to their alarm, and quiet in their little three-bedroom house. They left the window open all night, and their room smells cool and clean. Their ten-year-old has a volleyball game today. Tobio stretches her arms over her head, groaning, then reaches, her fingers brushing against the soft cotton of her wife’s t-shirt. They’re going on 15 years. Haven’t turned 40 yet. It’s a nice time of the year.

But worry assaults Tobio in the deepest part of her the moment she looks over at Shouyou, who is rousing too. When she sits up, there’s clumps of orange hair left on her pale green pillowcase. Tobio hears her wife gasp at the same time as she sees a bald spot on the back of her head.

A Saturday, at least, could be perfect, but it’s not, because Shou’s doing chemotherapy for her cancer.

“Oh no…”

Tobio watches her face pale, her small hands come slowly up to her head, to feel around at several bare patches. Her lips quiver. She looks at Tobio as the tears start to fall.

“Shou,” Tobio croaks out.

She offers her arms, and Shouyou lunges into them. Tobio can feel her struggle more than hear it, her teeth gritting against Tobio’s shoulder, eyelashes twitching over the skin of her neck, as Shouyou tries to keep it together. But the effort draws an awful soft whimper from her, and Tobio’s throat closes up as she squeezes her tighter, squeezes the sob out of her. Shouyou cries into her collarbone.

“Ukai-san said it would eventually,” Tobio says, to say something, anything. “It’s normal, for the treatment, that means it’s doing its job. It’s just what happens for a while. It won’t be permanent.”

“It’s scary!” her wife whimpers.

“I—” Tobio puts her hand over the back of her neck, like she can protect her. “Yeah.”

But the danger is already inside.

Tobio holds her inhumanly tight. She’s cried plenty, but she doesn’t cry when Shouyou is, it’s an absolutely necessary rule. She won’t. She _can’t_.

“Shou.”

“Sorry—”

“Don’t apologize.” She pulls her face up close to hers. She shakes her head. “No.”

“I just feel—” her eyes stray away—“Like I’m breaking.”

Tobio tugs her face higher, making her meet her eyes again, and shakes her head.

“You’re not. It’s working.”

Shouyou nods, small and inconsistent.

“It’s doing what it’s supposed to do. We’re beating it, okay? Your team’s winning.”

She nods harder. “Yeah.” Fresh tears come, and then she’s pressing into Tobio again.

Tobio rubs one hand up and down her back. The other, she would normally have tightly wound up in her hair, but she wraps her arm behind her neck and keeps her hand on her shoulder.

“We’re going to have a good day today,” Tobio says.

It’s not long, though no moment seems long anymore, before her breaths are slow and measured. Tobio’s neck is hot and a little sticky, instead of wet.

“Let’s get ready,” Shouyou says quietly, and Tobio lets her slide out of her arms.

Tobio gets off the bed, then turns, and watches her gather her hair off her pillow. She walks over to the garbage bin by the dresser and opens her hand, letting the little floof bundle fall in. And Tobio blinks, and feels tears, though it’s not nearly enough to syphon away the ache that’s tearing her heart down into her stomach.

“What should I do?” Shouyou says, facing the dresser, with one hand under her chin. “Wear a hat?”

Tobio chokes:

“You look cute in hats.”

She hastily drops her eyes, rubbing her fist over her face. It’s not her job to make her upset all over again.

“I must look _really _cute, if it makes you cry,” Shouyou says.

She’s smiling, when Tobio looks at her. Tobio nods through more tears.

Shouyou takes the few steps across the room and hugs her around the middle. Tobio hugs back.

“We’re going to have a good day today,” she says again.

Shouyou nods against her. Then she pulls back, with a small smile, and Tobio leans down to press their foreheads together. She kisses her, short and quietly.

They jump a little when there’s pounding at the door.

“Mom?” It’s their six-year old. “Are we getting breakfast or what?”

Shouyou’s laugh bursts out of her like confetti.

“I’m coming,” Tobio calls. “I’ll start breakfast,” she says to Shou.

“I’m going to get dressed, then I’ll be out.”

Tobio nods. She starts to step back, but Shouyou pulls her close again.

“Tobio.”

She leans close without thinking, at the call of her name.

“Maybe I’m not invincible,” Shouyou says.

Tobio’s heart comes to a full stop, and the world around her spirals into silence. She hasn’t come remotely close to even thinking of the ‘I’ word since her wife’s diagnosis. Because it’s unbearable. She feels a sob choking up the back of her throat.

“But you and the boys still make me feel like it,” says Shou. Her smile comes from deep in her eyes.

Her sob is only half a note before Tobio cuts it off by kissing her, palms a little too firm against her cheeks, the way Shouyou likes it. The slow burn of their lips takes the sting out of Tobio’s eyes, and when Shou’s hands latch onto her wrists, Tobio tilts her face higher, presses deeper, and loves her so much it’s killing her from the inside.


End file.
